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Everything to do with nothing!!

For those of you waiting patiently for phones, Internet Dialup, and the 1800-please help me I'm stuck services.
1:The Phones were sent by ground transport.  They should be at your mailing address by now.  If not don't panic you will get one, just wait I AM LOOKING INTO IT.
2:The Internet Dialup Account should be finished today.  Relax, YOU WILL GET YOUR PIECE OF THE PIE.
3:The 1-800--please help me I'm stuck services will be available later this month.  WE ARE WAITING ON HARDWARE INSTALLATION FROM THE PHONE COMPANY.  THIS IS OUT OF OUR HANDS.  RELAXXXXXXXXXX..............
Mike Brown, a very busy guy!!!!!!